dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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