Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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