There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
