I swear she didn't look like that last week.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize