Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm jealous of your bromance
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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