he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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