And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
