This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
