everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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