I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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