Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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