Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
