i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
