"it" just moved
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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