Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
