Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
