Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
