So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
