Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Drunk is not a location!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
