I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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