I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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