Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
