what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Randomize
