Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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