did you get engaged???
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
