So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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