Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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