I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
