That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
