If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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