I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
