I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
