Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize