ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
