so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
