I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
