apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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