i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
