the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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