In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
