Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize