Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
