I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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