operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
