What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
