Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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