please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
