D3 body, D1 cock
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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