my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
