the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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