Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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