he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
