saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize