idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
