Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
