On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
