He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
