At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
