I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You're like the curious george of whores
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
