from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
